


Trousers

by WhoInWhoville



Series: The TARDIS Blue JazzVerse [2]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Pete's World, Silly, children in need 2011, david tennant inspirational trousers, giggles, old eljay conversation, too tight trousers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-12 05:37:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15988748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhoInWhoville/pseuds/WhoInWhoville
Summary: Tentoo promised to host a charity fundraiser, but a complication has arisen.





	Trousers

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted in 2011 on ElJay. Inspired by David Tennant's appearance at Children In Need Rocks. His clothing choice was the subject of much discussion, many giggles, and quite a bit of drooling.
> 
> [See video here.](https://tennantnews.blogspot.com/2014/09/photos-david-tennant-hosts-children-in.html)
> 
> Part of the TARDIS-Blue JazzVerse.

## Trousers

"I'm back," hollered Rose as she dumped her purse on the kitchen table. "You almost ready?" She glanced at her wristwatch nervously. "We have to be at Mum and Dad's in half an hour, and traffic is horrid. We're gonna miss the benefit, and you promised Tony he could be backstage with me..." The Doctor did not reply. "Doctor? Where are you?"

"I can't go," was the muffled reply from their bedroom.

"Whaddya mean you can't go?" Rose screeched.

"You do it for me? Please? You're much prettier than me, not that I'm saying I'm not pretty, because I'm frankly spectacular, but more people will donate if it's the Vitex heiress asking."

"Don't you feel well? Are you sick?"

The Doctor walked out of their bedroom like a robot with hingeless legs.

"What the bloody hell are you wearing?" Rose gawped.

"The show sent this outfit over. Told me I had to wear it."

"Did they get your size wrong?" Rose scowled.

"I called them and the dresser said it was right... that they’d tailored to my measurements."

Rose fell backwards onto the sofa in hysterics. "Yeah, very accurately tailored.”

“It’s not funny, Rose! In one hour and forty eight minutes I’m supposed to go out on that stage and try and convince millions of people to open their wallets, and I can hardly keep from gritting my teeth, let alone smile.”

Rose motioned with her hand for him to turn around.

“Ooo, nice rear bumper,” she growled. “But really, it’s the _front_ view. Spectacular.”

He scowled.

“You know, I think I see what they are trying to do. They are tryin’ to appeal to the women in the audience, they are. You look... very..." She thought for a moment. "Manly."

"Manly?"

"Well no one could ever doubt your manhood after they see you in those trousers! In fact, I would hazard a guess that everyone will feel like they know you very well after tonight. I predict that Helping Needy Children will have its most successful fund drive ever.”

“Are you saying that I’m a... a... piece of flesh they are dangling out to the female viewership? That they’ll be so persuaded by my manliness that they will donate more money?”

“That’s exactly what I’m sayin. Here. Let me be the first to donate.” She produced a £20 note from her wallet and tucked it into his waistband before patting said manliness. “You aren’t wearing any pants!” She laughed.

The Doctor huffily pulled out the money and slapped it on the table. “I couldn’t get these bloody trousers on _over_ pants!” He lifted his knees to his chest to try and stretch the fabric, and then tugged at the crotch. “I’m not going Rose Tyler. It’s humiliating. I’m the Doctor, not a Chippendale dancer.”

She frowned and batted away his finger pointed at her face. “Awww, come on, don’t be such a prude. Remember when I had to wear that skimpy and nearly see-through evening gown for the celebrity box lunch auction last month? You didn’t hear me complainin’ none.”

“Yeah, well, you weren’t sewn into a pair of trousers that feel like a compression suit, either. I can’t even sit down to put on my trainers!”

“I could help you with that,” she said saucily. “Carpet’s plenty soft here. Might relieve some of the… tension you’ve got building up in there too.”

“Not helping, Rose!”

“Well wear some loafers then!” she growled.

“No!”

“You are acting like the 3 year old that you are, Doctor!”

“I am _not_ three!” He crossed his arms. “My body is three, but my mind is a thousand!”

She sighed and batted her eyes. “Then think of the children, Doctor.” Rose made that face that he couldn’t resist, and tugged on his tie, bringing his lips to hers. “You’ll be a smash hit.”

“No!”

“I tell you what. When we get home, I’ll make it worth your while. I’ll help you get out of those trousers.”

“Yeah, if I’m not permanently damaged. I really wanted children you know, and that may not be possible after tonight.”

Rose rolled her eyes.

oOo

“And... tonight’s grand total is...” the crowd waited in anticipation as the drumroll sounded and the tote board cycled through numbers before it revealed the final count.

“A record £162,985,574!!!! And on behalf of the children’s charities of the Britain, I wish to offer a special thanks to our host for the evening, Dr. Ian Smith of the Torchwood Institute!”

The crowd went wild, and the Doctor smiled graciously. His co-host leaned in and whispered into his ear, “Don’t turn around... I’ll walk you off of the stage.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Don’t you feel a draft?”

“No, but my trousers finally stretched out a bit-ooooooh.”

“Yeah. Split right up the rear. But how come you aren’t wearing any pants?”

 


End file.
